I’m really fucking low maintenance about body hair, like, I shave my legs maybe once a month.
Firstly, because my body hair grows super slow. I can go two weeks without shaving and not have a noticeable five-o-clock leg shadow. They feel like cactus, but they still look like a veet commercial, so I don’t care.
Second, because jesus fucking christ, do you have any idea how annoying shaving is?
Apply to hooch bush and pits. I just don’t have much in the way of hair.
So I let it just like, jungle out for 4 months and hack it all away on a whim. Except my pits, those do get regular attention, maybe every 5 days. It’s not even a beauty standard thing, if you’re offended by some stubble in my armpits then you have bigger issues to worry about. But god damn do I love me some fresh pits.
So as it turns out, I escaped razor burn. What I thought was razor burn was a cut in between my labia and thigh because the brand new razor I busted out for operation bushwhack clearly was not a top of the line six blade holy grail of cutting wiry hair while gently moisturizing my delicate skin. No, it was just a Whatever Soleil 3 blade disposable. Mistake #1, my snatch apparently requires the razor equivalent to a corvette, I suppose.
Maybe it’s time to try a brazilian wax. As much as I do not want to lay spread out in a paper thong in front of someone who does nothing but rip hot wax off of vagina all day, I think it’ll be much less embarrassing than explaining how I got tetanus from a metal blade and an open wound on my labia.