No diagnosis, but
I did breed 3 Eevee in Soul Silver while I was in the waiting room. So my ovaries have large follicles. The lining of my uterus is normal, the mass gone, and I have big old honking follicles. I’m at risk for developing pcos, but do not have it yet. The goal is to avoid it. And I asked about future fertility. Call me fertile myrtle, someday it’s quite likely I can produce demon spawn....
It must be bring your case manager to work day
If by work you mean wait in the lobby to have your crack baby’s check up. I’m tired and that ultrasound probe banged my cervix. I’m cranky and that is no reason to be so god damned judgemental. But that isn’t going to stop me making inappropriate remarks. I just feel a little bad about it now. That makes it okay, right?
My uterus is tilted, which is why there was no need for a transabdominal. Which imo, is phenomenal, as far as my comfort factor goes in the stirrups. The she devil with the ultrasound stump likes to take her stress out by mashing it into my ovaries. NOT TODAY. I made a song about it, I was so excited. NO JELLY ON MY BELLY YEAH YEAH NO JELLY ON MY BELLY. I didn’t say it was going to...
The temptation to steal obgyn wipes is great
There is a pamphlet in the bathroom that says “Does God hate me for killing my baby? No, God forgives.”
There is a probe in my vagina as I type this.
And Christian music playing in the background.
There is a sickeningly happy couple who are waving around sonogram pictures in the waiting room. Better not ask me how far along I am. There is no spawn up there, I’m here to have Chunks looked at. Possibly excavated.
Ultrasound in 10 hours. Cross your fingers for me, we’re hoping the mass in my uterus was just Chunks.
It’s two in the morning, my boyfriend is at work, my body is like FEED ME DICK. In between sending him dirty texts and listening to the audio book I rented from the library (seriously, I’m like a teenage boy and an AARP cardholder in a twenty something body), apparently the only thing left to do is tell the internet. And make hot pockets. Eat them in bed. Wearing a wifebeater. ...
Sugar Yum Yum: pussy rant →
hypersexed: “here is a list of lies you’ve been told by my silence: 1. that women are empty things who only experience being filled by you. 2. that we are abjectly grateful for this and 3. that women aren’t visual and 4. that novels aren’t porn and 5. that i have a queen size bed because i…
At least there are no weird food cravings
WHY IS THE BACK PAIN NEVER FEATURED PREDOMINANTLY IN THE MIDOL COMMERCIALS WHAT IS THIS SHIT AUGH I also think I am experiencing heartburn for the first time ever, for real this time. I’d think I was knocked up if it weren’t for the blood and chunks of lining ripping itself away from my uterus. Yeah, I can feel you down there, chunks. It’s almost like an affectionate...
Anonymous asked: Ugh, I've had a lot of period problems too and reading your blog makes me know that I'm not alone. Do you want to have kids in the future? Do you ever get scared and think you might not be able to?
Who disturbs my slumber
I had a run in with a mouth breather in the feminine products aisle of walmart today. I needed tampons, I needed them yestetday, and a big dork ape was in my way. I’ve been playing pokemon emerald all fucking day, so of course it played out in my head as though I were playing the game, starting with Katie uses attract, wild dork ape is immobilized by love, Katie uses knock off, wild dork...
No sex, ever again, but..
God, all I want to do is make out. Get with the touchy feely, you know all grabby hands with the boyfriend’s butt. He has a perfect butt. But then I will get all sexually frustrated and want to bone and my vagina is a fenced off, electric fenced off crime scene. A pain dungeon, even. Where my cooch canal is an iron maiden and offending penises are all hell bent on beating my cervix with...
Last month was indeed a cruel joke, that glorious dripping faucet of a period was a fluke. I’m not sure how long I’ve been bleeding because I have bronchitis and the meds I’m on are pretty much leaving me in a coma sleep. So this month will tell me what my periods are like, fml, food food food, how does my body contain this much anything, food food food, no sex ever again,...
There is a small angry rodent living in my fucking uterus, and it wants to claw its way the fuck out.
My entire body hates me
Fever, ear infection remnants, an angry cooch who is kinda late to the party, and today, a diagnosis of bronchitis. Life is grand. I haven’t shaved all month. Like, legs or cooch. I’m doing the whole letting myself go while I feel like dookie month.
My hemoglobin is finally above 11, its 13 as of today. But my platelets are too high. The fun never stops.
Something is always oozing out of somewhere
I haven’t really been updating lately because the only thing going on with my angry cooch is that it is a dry, barren wasteland. The aygestin gives me weird cramps and hormonal insanity, and I could write for ages about how bat shit crazy I get when I miss a date with my boyfriend because the lady hormones up in this bitch turns me into the neediest, whiniest woman on god’s green...
Started a new month on aygestin. No vagina changes. Except the cut I got shaving the other day. I was in a rush, whatever. I started this gross new shampoo routine. As in, I stopped using shampoo today. I replaced shampoo with a baking soda/water mixture and an apple cider vinegar rinse with some perfume oil in it. Because acv smells like cornhole. Surprisingly, my hair and scalp feels so...